Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to an emergency call.
Once there, the house was very, very dark and so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.
Very diligently Kathleen did as she was asked.
Her mother Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born.
The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom.
Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year-old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack his butt again!."
Monday, March 27, 2006
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Everyone Else Is Doing It!
First I saw it on Nicholes blog and then I saw it on someone elses blog so I figured I'd follow along. And no Mom, if they all jumped off a cliff I would not jump too! LOL
1. When was the last time you went to the bathroom outside? Probably about 4 or 5 years ago. I was coming home from a night at the LongBranch and the alchohol just wouldn't stay inside me for another 10 more minutes until I got home so I had to pull over in a nearby neighborhood and relieve myself. Ewww I hate doing that but I just couldn't hold it no more!
2. When was the last time you saw one of your parents? In 2000.
3. Which family member do you most resemble? My mom so I am told. My daughter and I both look incredibly alike.
4. Do you wear cologne/perfume? Definatly. Smelling "sooooo good!" is my "Trademark" at work!
5. Do you wear deodorant? uhh.......yeah. Duh!
6. Do you ‘clean up nice’? Always!
7. When was the last time you tripped and fell? Oh this is an easy one! On March 4th. I fell at work. I didn't trip though. I was at work and I stepped down onto a turntable and it turned on me and took my feet right out from underneath me. I had a bruise from HELL!
8. Where was the last place you slept besides your home? By my son and daughters home in Milwaukee. I was there visiting them over Christmas.
9. What are you listening to right now? Paul Harvey "The Rest Of The Story" on the computer radiop as I type. (I love some Paul Harvey!)
10. Have you ever started an uncontrollable fire? Nope.
11. Ever run out of gas on the road? Fortunatly I never had.
12. Would you rather cut the grass or rake the leaves? Cut the grass --and that's only because of our riding lawn mower. I hate raking leaves-I always get blisters!
13. Your name spelled backwards. Eseret. Not pretty, huh?
14. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Pictures of my daughter. I love pictures!
15. Last time you swam in a pool. Ummm....I think it was about 2 years ago when Scott and I went to visit the kids in Milwaukee.
16. Have you ever been in a school play? It wasn't a play but in Christmas shows.
17. How many kids do you want? I already have 3. Isn't that enough? Now if you're asking about Grandchildren....well....that's a different answer then!
18. Type of music you dislike most? I guess that would be Jazz.
19. Are you registered to vote? yes
20. Do you have cable? nope
21. Ever prank call anybody? Yes, that was our favorite pasttime when we were younger!
22. Best friends? Janet. She is the only TRUE friend I have.....besides Honey. :)
23. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? I would NEVER go bunjee jumping but I MAY consider going sky diving. Thanks to that country song I would. lol
24. Do you have a garden? No but I am considering planting a vegitable garden soon.
25. What’s your favorite comic strip? Calvin and Hobbes!
26. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Shower. At night. It relaxes me.
27. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month? Exorcism of Emily Rose.
28. Favorite pizza topping? Sausage
29. Chips or popcorn? Definatly popcorn!
30. What color lipstick do you usually wear? Usually a very light tan color.
31. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? What the hell.......?
32. Orange Juice or apple? Mmmmmm.....Apple!
33. Favorite type of chocolate bar? It used to be Snickers but since I can't eat that no more it changed to Kit-Kats!
34. When was the last time you voted at the polls? A very long time ago!
35. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Last summer at the Penkalski house. Ron's famouse tomatoes! Yum!
36. Are you a good cook? When I want to be I am. :)
37. Ever order anything from an infomercial? No I don't think so.
38. Sprite or 7-up? Sprite if I have to chose but I prefer my favorite.....Coke!
39. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Yes. Every single solitary working day of my life and I hate it!
40. Ever thrown up in public? Oh yes. These days I try to make it home before I lose it! LOL
41. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? True love is the best! I found it and never ever knew it would be so good!
42. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes because I experienced it!
43. Can ex’s be friends? Yes they can. Haven't I proved that in my life already? :)
44. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My friend Sheryl when she had her hysterectomy done.
45. Did you have a lot of hair as a baby? I really have no idea. That's a shame isn't it?
46. What message is on your answering machine? Please leave a message. (or something to that effect I think)
47. What do you think about most? Are my kids REALLY doing as good as they say they are? Which child is going to get married first? What will my grandchildren look like? How many grandchildren will I have?
I like filling these things out but what I like more is reading other peoples answers. Now if you would like to share with me, (since I already shared with you), all you have to do is highlight all the questions here, cut this whole thing and paste it on the comment section, delete my answers and type in your own and submit. I would love to hear how you would answer!
1. When was the last time you went to the bathroom outside? Probably about 4 or 5 years ago. I was coming home from a night at the LongBranch and the alchohol just wouldn't stay inside me for another 10 more minutes until I got home so I had to pull over in a nearby neighborhood and relieve myself. Ewww I hate doing that but I just couldn't hold it no more!
2. When was the last time you saw one of your parents? In 2000.
3. Which family member do you most resemble? My mom so I am told. My daughter and I both look incredibly alike.
4. Do you wear cologne/perfume? Definatly. Smelling "sooooo good!" is my "Trademark" at work!
5. Do you wear deodorant? uhh.......yeah. Duh!
6. Do you ‘clean up nice’? Always!
7. When was the last time you tripped and fell? Oh this is an easy one! On March 4th. I fell at work. I didn't trip though. I was at work and I stepped down onto a turntable and it turned on me and took my feet right out from underneath me. I had a bruise from HELL!
8. Where was the last place you slept besides your home? By my son and daughters home in Milwaukee. I was there visiting them over Christmas.
9. What are you listening to right now? Paul Harvey "The Rest Of The Story" on the computer radiop as I type. (I love some Paul Harvey!)
10. Have you ever started an uncontrollable fire? Nope.
11. Ever run out of gas on the road? Fortunatly I never had.
12. Would you rather cut the grass or rake the leaves? Cut the grass --and that's only because of our riding lawn mower. I hate raking leaves-I always get blisters!
13. Your name spelled backwards. Eseret. Not pretty, huh?
14. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Pictures of my daughter. I love pictures!
15. Last time you swam in a pool. Ummm....I think it was about 2 years ago when Scott and I went to visit the kids in Milwaukee.
16. Have you ever been in a school play? It wasn't a play but in Christmas shows.
17. How many kids do you want? I already have 3. Isn't that enough? Now if you're asking about Grandchildren....well....that's a different answer then!
18. Type of music you dislike most? I guess that would be Jazz.
19. Are you registered to vote? yes
20. Do you have cable? nope
21. Ever prank call anybody? Yes, that was our favorite pasttime when we were younger!
22. Best friends? Janet. She is the only TRUE friend I have.....besides Honey. :)
23. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? I would NEVER go bunjee jumping but I MAY consider going sky diving. Thanks to that country song I would. lol
24. Do you have a garden? No but I am considering planting a vegitable garden soon.
25. What’s your favorite comic strip? Calvin and Hobbes!
26. Bath or Shower, morning or night? Shower. At night. It relaxes me.
27. Best movie you’ve seen in the past month? Exorcism of Emily Rose.
28. Favorite pizza topping? Sausage
29. Chips or popcorn? Definatly popcorn!
30. What color lipstick do you usually wear? Usually a very light tan color.
31. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? What the hell.......?
32. Orange Juice or apple? Mmmmmm.....Apple!
33. Favorite type of chocolate bar? It used to be Snickers but since I can't eat that no more it changed to Kit-Kats!
34. When was the last time you voted at the polls? A very long time ago!
35. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Last summer at the Penkalski house. Ron's famouse tomatoes! Yum!
36. Are you a good cook? When I want to be I am. :)
37. Ever order anything from an infomercial? No I don't think so.
38. Sprite or 7-up? Sprite if I have to chose but I prefer my favorite.....Coke!
39. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work? Yes. Every single solitary working day of my life and I hate it!
40. Ever thrown up in public? Oh yes. These days I try to make it home before I lose it! LOL
41. Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love? True love is the best! I found it and never ever knew it would be so good!
42. Do you believe in love at first sight? Yes because I experienced it!
43. Can ex’s be friends? Yes they can. Haven't I proved that in my life already? :)
44. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My friend Sheryl when she had her hysterectomy done.
45. Did you have a lot of hair as a baby? I really have no idea. That's a shame isn't it?
46. What message is on your answering machine? Please leave a message. (or something to that effect I think)
47. What do you think about most? Are my kids REALLY doing as good as they say they are? Which child is going to get married first? What will my grandchildren look like? How many grandchildren will I have?
I like filling these things out but what I like more is reading other peoples answers. Now if you would like to share with me, (since I already shared with you), all you have to do is highlight all the questions here, cut this whole thing and paste it on the comment section, delete my answers and type in your own and submit. I would love to hear how you would answer!
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
My Private Part Died Today
An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong.
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My private part died today, and I am very sad.
" Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences." The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his private part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.
"Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your private part back inside your pajamas."
"But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my private part died."
"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?" asked Nurse Tracy.
"Well," he replied. "Today's the viewing."
"Yes, Nurse Tracy," said Mr. Goldstein, "My private part died today, and I am very sad.
" Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences." The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his private part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy.
"Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your private part back inside your pajamas."
"But, Nurse Tracy," replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my private part died."
"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?" asked Nurse Tracy.
"Well," he replied. "Today's the viewing."
Anthrax Scare At Lambeau Field
**Now I love the Green Bay Packers and hate when anyone puts them down but I read this and I couldn't help but laugh so of course I have to share it with you.Please don't pass this on to anyone. We don't want to spread rumors.**
Green Bay Packer football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.
Coach Mike Sherman immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate.
After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.
Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.
Green Bay Packer football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.
Coach Mike Sherman immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate.
After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.
Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.
My blog has been requested!
Yeah you heard me right. Someone requested that I continue to update my blog! They actually enjoy reading it and want more of it! I know what some of you are saying...."yeah right!!" But it's true. I know I haven't updated since last year at around Thanksgiving time. Actually I was just going to give it up completely. I do write here, but I do it for myself. You know, them personal feelings and thoughts that I don't want to share with anyone and stuff. Those posts I keep hidden and don't have available to the "public". So as of today I am back in business! So now that I'm back (again) and will take a little to "warm up" I'll just post a few things that I found to be quite amusing. Give me a day or two and I will be back to my usual writing.
Thanks once more for all the comments you readers leave for me! At least I feel like I am entertaining you on some level!
Thanks once more for all the comments you readers leave for me! At least I feel like I am entertaining you on some level!
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