I suddenly LOVE tomatoes!

Who needs a husband when we have TOMATOES! Yes, this is a real tomatoe on a tomatoe plant. One of the "peas" on the message board posted this and it got me thinking.....I need to plant some tomatoes. I never really got into gardening before but I think it's time for me to start. I suddenly have this urge to go out in the backyard and dig it all up and plant nothing but tomatoe plants. Can you imagine it? Going out on my back deck and seeing all these beautiful tomatoes out there. Growing and getting larger by the day! I'm getting sooo excited just thinking about it! I can imagine Scott coming home and wondering why nothing is done around the house. Honey? Why does the house look look like it hasn't been cleaned in a month? Because I been tending to the tomatoes. Honey? Why have we eaten dinner in such a long time? Because I been tending to the tomatoes. Honey? Why don't we have sex anymore? Because I been tending to the tomatoes. Honey? Why are there tomatoes on your nightstand? Uhh...........

I hope you all miss me.

Just a note to let everyone that reads this stupid blog of mine know, that I will no longer be writing. My computer kicked the bucket. I cannot log in to this site unless I am at work and I just don't have the time while I'm at work to write. Soooooooo.....until further notice, I am outta here. I will let everyone know when I start back up again. All you have to do is let me know that you want to know. Sign my guestbook and I will let you know as soon as I am up and running again.
I'm really gonna miss writing in here. Hopefully it won't be too long before I will be back.

If anyone is wondering....which I doubt they are.....

If anyone is wondering why I haven't written anything lately, which I doubt anyone even cares.....is that my puter is fucked up. Yup. It sure is. I can't access any web sites for some unknown reason. I don't know what the hell I did, or if I did anything at all, but the sumbitch won't let me do anything I want to do. I keep getting a "page unavailable....web site may be temporarily down....blah blah blah." Bullshit. You mean to tell me that every single web site I go to is temporarily down? I mean come on! If you don't like me coming to you're site any more, or if I just stink and need to take a shower or sumfin, at least say it to my face! Damn! I mean really....I KNOW it isn't my puter. I take care of that baby. I deferag it every couple days, delete all my temp files and cookies, stay away from opening unknown e-mails from peeps I don't know and all that other stuff that you are supposed to do to your computer. Yeah right. I tried to deferag it a while ago. It was going for almost 3 days and the damn thing wasn't even at 1%! No shit! Needless to say I just said blow it and let it go. So if anyone out there is reading this and knows anything at all about puters and would like to give me some advice....feel free to do so. Really. I won't mind one bit. I need my puter. I miss my puter. I love my puter. It's pretty much my "lifeline" you could say. It's what keeps me connected to the people I love!
If you're wondering how I am writing this right now, I'll tell you. I'm at work. And now I have to go. The press is calling me.

My already planned retirement!

I have decided that when I retire this is what I am going to do. There will be no nursing home in my future....
When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Carnival Cruise Ship. The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Carnival and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for :

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Carnival ships have as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They will even treat me like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help me and make me happy.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.

7. TV broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for my inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and I won't even have to ask for them.

9. If I fall in the nursing home and break a hip I am on Medicare. If I fall and break a hip on the Carnival ship they will upgrade me to a suite for the rest of my life.

Now this is the best part! Do I want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia? Just name a place where I want to go! Carnival will have a ship ready for me! So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship!

P.S. And don't forget, when I die, they'll just dump me over the side at no charge!

8 Stupid Things I Done As a Kid

Here is a list of some of the stupid things I have done as a kid. I wanted to post 12 of them, but seeing as I was such a good kid and hardly ever got in trouble, I had to shorten my list to 8. So, here we go......the stupid things I have done:

1. Dropped out of highschool in the 10th. Grade.
2. Stole the teachers language book with all the answers in it just because I liked the way it looked. I wanted to take it home with me to play school with but the teacher found me with it before I could.
3. Ran away from home with Mike Maz and he changed his mind and ditched me at someone's house.
4. My friends and I used to sit on her front porch in summer time and drink hot Maddog 20/20 to get drunk. (It turns my stomach now just thinking about it!)
5. Snuck out of the house at night so I could drive in the cemetery.
6. Took Lorries station wagon for a ride around the block when I didn't have my license and I got pulled over by a cop and got a speeding ticket.
7. Sold my white bedroom set that mom bought me because I simply needed some money.
8. Boozed school and stayed either in the basement or the attic at the entire day.