Since I have been sooo busy and didn't get a chance to post this on Thanksgiving day, here it is now!
1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together, keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. That's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin.
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready, when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. You might want to eat a little slower, or you'll get indigestion.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving Day and thanked the good Lord for all that we have because we all are truely blessed! I know I am for God giving me you!
Monday, November 28, 2005
Monday, November 14, 2005
My Christmas Wish List....
I think you know me well enough to know that receiving presents is usually very special for me. There's usually not very many things I want or need. I do have trouble even when I'm shopping (i.e. buying a gift) for myself, and feel sorry for the burden having to buy me a present puts on those who feel the obligation. But there is a special category of gifts that stands apart from the kind that people usually bestow on one another and about which I feel quite differently.
That is the gift that has meaning only if it is never asked for, nor even hinted at or expected. It has to come entirely as a voluntary, original and even heartfelt thing or action from the giver who choose the gift solely because it is believed to be of great value to the receiver. These are the gifts that mean so much more to me. So as we approach the holiday season and anyone asks me what I would like or need I will say this. I would like the kind of gift that when received will produce a deep emotional response and will be felt by the heart. Something that says "I care about you and I knew you would love this!" If I just made it more difficult for you instead of making it easier.......
Then here is my trypical Christmas Wish list:
1. Pajamas. The same thing I wish for year after year. (It shows me you care about my health. That I need to be comfy while getting my rest.)
2. Nice pretty Scrapbooks. Again, the same thing I wish for year after year. ( It shows me that you know who I really am and that it's something that I really really NEED!)
3. Scott Stapp's new CD. (He makes me happy and when mama is happy-everyone is happy! Nuff said.)
4. Chicken Soup for the Dog Lovers Soul Book. (These books ALWAYS warm my heart!)
5. That awesome KitchenAid that has my name written all over it at the stores. You want dessert? Buy me this and you will get your dessert and eat it too! (This is the one that will create a deep emotional response. Maybe even a physical response and move me to tears!)
6. Anything homemade! Anything at all! These are the best gifts ever!
So you see? I'm not at all hard to please! Pick from either list and I will be happy!
That is the gift that has meaning only if it is never asked for, nor even hinted at or expected. It has to come entirely as a voluntary, original and even heartfelt thing or action from the giver who choose the gift solely because it is believed to be of great value to the receiver. These are the gifts that mean so much more to me. So as we approach the holiday season and anyone asks me what I would like or need I will say this. I would like the kind of gift that when received will produce a deep emotional response and will be felt by the heart. Something that says "I care about you and I knew you would love this!" If I just made it more difficult for you instead of making it easier.......
Then here is my trypical Christmas Wish list:
1. Pajamas. The same thing I wish for year after year. (It shows me you care about my health. That I need to be comfy while getting my rest.)
2. Nice pretty Scrapbooks. Again, the same thing I wish for year after year. ( It shows me that you know who I really am and that it's something that I really really NEED!)
3. Scott Stapp's new CD. (He makes me happy and when mama is happy-everyone is happy! Nuff said.)
4. Chicken Soup for the Dog Lovers Soul Book. (These books ALWAYS warm my heart!)
5. That awesome KitchenAid that has my name written all over it at the stores. You want dessert? Buy me this and you will get your dessert and eat it too! (This is the one that will create a deep emotional response. Maybe even a physical response and move me to tears!)
6. Anything homemade! Anything at all! These are the best gifts ever!
So you see? I'm not at all hard to please! Pick from either list and I will be happy!
Here Are Some Things To Ponder...
Here are a few things to think about that you probably have never thought about;
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...
But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON T.V.?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President
and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile?
If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,
but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...
But it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON T.V.?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President
and fifty for Miss America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say,
"I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile?
If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut,
why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,
but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap,
why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Why does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star
have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere,
but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride; he sticks his head out the window?
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