I have three children and all of them are grown and moved out of the house now. I have put in many years of kids coming to us and saying " I need this and that done for school and I don't know how to do it, blah, blah, blah....." Well Honey we will help you, we'll work on it this weekend. When is it due? TOMORROW?!?!?!? What the @#$%*&^!
Any parent who has a child in school knows exactly what I am talking about! Now you would think that since my children are all grown that I would be free of this but noooooooooo. I have home work to do TONIGHT! I have to search the internet to look for a photo of an alligator(s) and do a short report on them. How they live, what they eat....all that shit. Now here's the real kicker.......It's not even for MY KID! Good ole' Sheryl called and woke me up while I was taking my aftrernoon nap. I was on the beach just about to get sand up the crack of my ass with Kenny Chesney when all of a sudden I get a phone stuck up to my ear with the sound of Sheryl's voice coming out of it. Talk about that girl fucking up a wet dream! She can do it now! Anyway.....she tells me that Kyle has a report due tomorrow for school and that she doesn't have a computer and that she asked so and so and they don't have one either and blah blah blah blah blah.....
So to make a longer story short....I have to do it for him. This shit sucks. I hate homework. I never even done my own when I was in school and now I have to do someone elses kids homework! So to prevent being ever asked again, I'm going to do this report. BUT, I think I'll add in a "few words" of my own. Like maybe "A alligator is a large crocodilian reptile found only in the southern United States underneath beds of their own little boys who don't do their homework on and have their mamas friends do it for them" and in the Yangtze river China, having a shorter, blunter penis than the crocodile." I know Sheryl won't read over and check it before she sends it to school with him. I think that would be funny. Teach her a lesson or two. My bad I know. But hey....if it keeps me from having to still do homework at the age of 41 ......
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Scott and I were thinking of getting another dog and I found this one I liked. I took one look at her and she just stole my heart! I think Honey and Willie would LOVE her! She looks so playful doesn't she? I could just see her cuddling on the bed with me and Honey at night! I know it wouldn't be hard to get someone to watch the three dogs while we go away on vacation. How can anyone refuse! Just look at her face!Well....We're going to talk about it tonight after dinner before making any commitments. We want to make sure we will be able to provide for this precious puppy. Hey! I rather like that name for her. Precious! That's what we can name her! Oh I can't wait to tell Scott I already have a name picked out for her. He's going to LOVE it! I KNOW he will! I am so excited! :)
Lemme Clear My Throat
So it's been a while. What can I say? I been busy. I don't feel like writing anything today but I DO have to wish a few peeps a Happy Birthday! Better yet, lemme sing it to y'all. OK here we go.....(a hum......clearing my throat here........) ready? Here we go!Happy Birthday to youuu....Happy Birthday to youuu....Happy Birthday dear Shawn, Cheryl, Tom and lil munchkin.......Happy Birthday to youuuuuuuuu!!!!!WoooHoooo how did ya like that? It was awesome I know. People tell me that all the time! Any hoot.....Happy Birthday you guys! And in case a couple of you who are wondering who Tom and lil' munchkin is, it is Tom Cruise and one of the munchkins from the "Wizard Of Oz" who I once met down in Myrtle Beach. Yeah, he was a cute little thang. Only came up to about my boobs. Looked so darn cute I wanted to take him home with me.Anyway......I hope y'all have a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY and relax and enjoy your day! You deserve it!
Sunday, September 18, 2005
What "Fraud" Could Mean To Renee Zellweger
I came across this somewhere on the wonderful worldwide web and found it kind of amusing so I thought I would post it here.
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The world was stunned, four months ago, when Oscar-winning actress Renée Zellweger very suddenly, and with no apparent warning, wed country singer Kenny Chesney, after knowing him only five months. And the world was stunned again last week, when she announced that she was seeking to annul her marriage to Chesney on the grounds of "fraud."
The speculation started immediately. How had Chesney defrauded his bride? What had he represented that had turned out not to be true? If they just didn't like each other, why not get divorced -- why risk the publicity of seeking annulment and calling him out as a fraud?
Late last week, Zellweger sought to reassure fans about the circumstances of her parting with her husband, stating that the "fraud" charge was "simply legal language and not a reflection of Kenny's character."
Well, phew! But if it's not a reflection of his character, what does it mean? We have some guesses.
His real name is "Kenneth Chesneth."
He claims to have a degree in advertising; in fact he never received his diploma due to outstanding library late fees.
He only rents his house in the Caribbean.
He only rents his guitar.
He first worked in the music industry in the late '80s as an R&B singer with the stage name "Rick Astley."
He claimed his many country-music awards were important showbiz prizes; in fact, they are worthless.
He married her thinking she was Joey Lauren Adams.
He claimed to think she was robbed of an Oscar nomination for Nurse Betty; in fact, he thought she was only okay.
His cowboy hat is counterfeit.
He's still pulling for her to get back together with Jim Carrey.
He made her a sandwich with what he said was turkey, but was actually chicken.
He's gay.
He sometimes wears glasses, but they're non-prescription just to make him look smarter.
He cheats on his workouts by counting his reps by two.
He doesn't shave his head -- he's just bald.
She didn't actually have him at "hello."
--------------------------------------
The world was stunned, four months ago, when Oscar-winning actress Renée Zellweger very suddenly, and with no apparent warning, wed country singer Kenny Chesney, after knowing him only five months. And the world was stunned again last week, when she announced that she was seeking to annul her marriage to Chesney on the grounds of "fraud."
The speculation started immediately. How had Chesney defrauded his bride? What had he represented that had turned out not to be true? If they just didn't like each other, why not get divorced -- why risk the publicity of seeking annulment and calling him out as a fraud?
Late last week, Zellweger sought to reassure fans about the circumstances of her parting with her husband, stating that the "fraud" charge was "simply legal language and not a reflection of Kenny's character."
Well, phew! But if it's not a reflection of his character, what does it mean? We have some guesses.
His real name is "Kenneth Chesneth."
He claims to have a degree in advertising; in fact he never received his diploma due to outstanding library late fees.
He only rents his house in the Caribbean.
He only rents his guitar.
He first worked in the music industry in the late '80s as an R&B singer with the stage name "Rick Astley."
He claimed his many country-music awards were important showbiz prizes; in fact, they are worthless.
He married her thinking she was Joey Lauren Adams.
He claimed to think she was robbed of an Oscar nomination for Nurse Betty; in fact, he thought she was only okay.
His cowboy hat is counterfeit.
He's still pulling for her to get back together with Jim Carrey.
He made her a sandwich with what he said was turkey, but was actually chicken.
He's gay.
He sometimes wears glasses, but they're non-prescription just to make him look smarter.
He cheats on his workouts by counting his reps by two.
He doesn't shave his head -- he's just bald.
She didn't actually have him at "hello."
Saturday, September 10, 2005
"Do You Blog?"
"Do you blog?" This question was asked of me by a co-worker a few months ago during one of our breaks. After he asked, I looked at my feet (they looked normal), turned around to try and see my rear end in the mirror (looked big but normal, I guess), tried to smell my arm pits (they too seemed okay). So then I had no choice but to answer, "I don't know -- do I BLOG?" He acted like that was the first time he had heard something funny in his life.
So after a little explanation of what a blog actually was I began to investigate. I realized that many of the women on a message board I visit (2Peas) actually have blogs. That began my little obsession. I would wait until Scott would be asleep and I would start clicking on all the links and reading about these people's lives in their blogs. At first, I wouldn't admit to anyone that I actually was intruding on these people and their personal lives. It did seem a bit nosy of me to be reading about these people I don't really know. Then I realized that if everyone was doing it and they were posting on the World Wide Web then they intented for people to read it.
So I confessed my little obsession to my dear sweet husband and his response was "Well honey, why don't you get one of them too." "I wouldn't want you to feel left out!" So this is why and how I started blogging. I wish I could read my kids or my sisters blog too, but unfortunatly they don't have one. Like my sister told me one day, "I really like reading what you write. I like to see what you really think and feel about things and what goes on in that little head of yours." Well, that's exactly how I feel. I wished I could get to know my children and sister a little better. Maybe one day I'll actually know someone personally who has one and then I can stop reading other peoples blog and feel like I'm an intruder.
So after a little explanation of what a blog actually was I began to investigate. I realized that many of the women on a message board I visit (2Peas) actually have blogs. That began my little obsession. I would wait until Scott would be asleep and I would start clicking on all the links and reading about these people's lives in their blogs. At first, I wouldn't admit to anyone that I actually was intruding on these people and their personal lives. It did seem a bit nosy of me to be reading about these people I don't really know. Then I realized that if everyone was doing it and they were posting on the World Wide Web then they intented for people to read it.
So I confessed my little obsession to my dear sweet husband and his response was "Well honey, why don't you get one of them too." "I wouldn't want you to feel left out!" So this is why and how I started blogging. I wish I could read my kids or my sisters blog too, but unfortunatly they don't have one. Like my sister told me one day, "I really like reading what you write. I like to see what you really think and feel about things and what goes on in that little head of yours." Well, that's exactly how I feel. I wished I could get to know my children and sister a little better. Maybe one day I'll actually know someone personally who has one and then I can stop reading other peoples blog and feel like I'm an intruder.
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